FIIIIIIINALLY!

We are doing the very last part of the move tomorrow!
I will be in for realz!
I met more neighbours today. Super nice. And now I know where to park which is awesome as I was feelin' pretty awkward about it.. I didn't want to step or park on anyones turf. But I get a covered park which is awesome! Woah, tired rambles.
Anyway, house is looking amazing! My *ahem* dole *ahem* has gone up, it's still not enough but it's better than no increase. My rent assistance is A LOT. It blew me away.
Having the time of my life.

I'm going to bed....
Night.

Rose.
xoxo

SwoonFest....

There is a new album coming out..... that means there is another tour just around the corner!

Meanwhile, where do I find boys like these? Failing that, how do I get Ben to look like these boys.

Rose.
xoxo

What do I do?

So many beautiful friends hearts are breaking right now.
There is nothing I can say or do to make it better for them.
I feel so helpless.

I love you guys.

xoxo

You know what....

I wrote an entire blog, when really, all I want to say is - Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

Anyway, I am obsessed with Maya Angelou.... I just want to give her a hug.
"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."

For realz moving on Thursday and Friday!
Can't wait!
I love my space, I think that the way you 'live' (excuse me while I become a wanker for a few seconds) is a huge reflection on the way you live your life & who you are as a person... if that makes sense? You know, that whole, a messy house means a messy body and mind, that bullshit? Yeah, well, that.

I like that I have 'stuff'. Not junky random bits of crap, jammed into display cabinets (well, some random bits of crap...) but mostly well thought out, carefully placed pieces of art or antiquities (mostly fake.).
I have decided not to take all of my stuff into the new place.. there is just not enough room. I had enough stuff for an entire house.. I was dreaming when I thought I could fit it allllll into a one bedroom apartment! Having said that, i'm not really "getting rid of it", I am just keeping it in storage..... hahahahhahahaaaaaaaaa.... oh i'm lame.
I am so happy with the person I am right now. I don't know who the fuck that girl was last year... I hope she never comes back. I don't think she will.

I let people walk right over me... trample me into the ground. Not going to happen again. Rose of three years ago wouldnt have stood for that! I'm clearly the same person, so why was I letting it happen? It's bullshit. I had convinced myself that that was who I was. I couldnt say anything, I couldnt stand up for myself, I couldnt ask why things that I didnt agree with were happening, I couldnt say no, I couldnt make eye contact... hell, I couldnt even scream at the top of my lungs when I was angry!
Thats not me!
I'm not letting it happen again.

I've had two major break downs in my not even 24 years on this earth. Thats it. No more thanks. Two is more than enough.

Maybe if I could have just an ounce of the confidence this lady did, that would be fantastic....



I remember when this photo was taken, it was 6:30am and I hadn't gotten out of bed before 12pm for the better part of a year, I was drinking a mega sweet coffee with soy, it was one of the best coffees I have ever had. No make-up, no bra and I didnt even care.... I was 19 - make up and bras were pretty important to me then, hell, they are both still in my top 5.
It really was a cheesy, this is the first day of the rest of yr life moments..... something clicked then and something is clicking now.

I owe nothing to nobody.

I have a boyfriend who loves me unconditionally. He has seen me at my absolute worst and he still tells me everyday that I am the most beautiful girl in the world. Up until Ben, no boy that I was ever in love with called me beautiful.... one boy when asked if he thought I was beautiful responded with.... "Awww, she's pretty cute... I don't know about beautiful...." we had been dating for about 6months when he said it...
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! I KNOW YOU READ THIS BLOG, you big jerkface! Humph! Lolz.

But as I was saying or rather rambling, my family, my friends, my cat, my boyfriend & myself.... thats all I need and they are the only people I should have to answer to.

Menopause....

My Mum has turned into a living nightmare.

I don't even know who she is anymore....
It's ruining my life!
For real.
I can't handle her... it's like our roles have been reversed and she is the moody, antisocial, hypersensitive, irrational teenager and I am her Mother, who she clearly can't stand.


Do we all end up like that?


Edit:
Mum is ok. We are pretty awesome at fighting. She is a pain in my arse and she is completely insane but the same could be said about me by her.
We cried it out. she admitted she was nutz.
Get on with life.

You know nothing of the crunch!!

Just putting it out there, these two are probably my favourite characters on The Mighty Boosh.

It doesn't matter how many times I watch these episodes or quote these lines, they will ALWAYS be funny to me.


Tony Harrison: I've got it Saboo! An idea is formulating!
Saboo: What?
Tony Harrison: Fleetwood Mac's "Tusk," in its entirety!
Saboo: Are you insane? There's at most... one track I can get away with, off maybe... "Rumours."
Tony Harrison: Come on! "Tusk," in its entirety, with the pauses, as Lindsay Buckingham intended! Watch the room crumble at the aura of the H-Man!
Saboo: Why not just give me a .44 so I can spray my brains across the decks?
Tony Harrison: What is your beef with the Mac?
Saboo: The same beef every right thinking man has, they are bullshit munchers!

My new digz...

It's all mine...
I sat on the floor in the middle of my empty lounge room this afternoon just staring at the space.
It's alllllll mine.

I needed this. I needed this so fucking bad.

Sure, it did suck a little after I signed the lease and I had no one to jump around excitedly with...but I got over that pretty quickly after I sat and took it all in.
It would have been nice if my little bestie Frank was there to soak it up with. But he'll be in next week to sniff it all out. I love my little (or not so little anymore) fluff bag.

Honestly, if this works out ok, I really don't see myself going back to share houses.. but you should never say never. Although, I do feel too old for that bullshit. I want my own space. I've always dealt with things better when I have my own space, my own safe area... something bigger than a bedroom, but small enough to not get lost in. A place that feels entirely comfortable, somewhere where I can pick who I see and when I see them. It's only my mess that I have to step over, my dishes that I have to clean and I know the house will look exactly the same way when I come home as when I left it. Ahhhhhhhhh! Goodtimes.

And if I do get lonely, there is Frankie and its a two minute drive to Ben's! Hell, I could even ride my bike there! HA! As if! I couldn't even ride over when I lived 2 blocks away! LOLZ.

Alls I need now is for my furniture/all belongings to be in there! Something that is quite important when it comes to 'living in a home'.

Woah. I just then, in that second became deliriously tired. Here's hoping I get to sleep.

Rose.
xoxo





Ps. I once had mixed feelings about the 70's but right now, with all my 'new' furnishings I feel drawn to them for interior inspiration! Check it out!

So! I swore to the Ebay gods that if they let me win the clock I was looking at I would never use their website again......
Clearly the gods didn't want me back, because I won the item!
But thats IT! I can't spend another cent on ebay!
Well, maybe I can after I get a new job....
I was never an Ebay fiend, probz because I knew this would happen!

I didn't make any deals with the Etsy gods though..........


Rose.
xoxo

Ps. I get the keys in 2 and a half hours!

Getting on with it!

I drove past my old house today... no, not stalking, I actually had to go down my old street...
Anyway, I drove past it and instead of the overwhelming feeling of sadness and anxiety I was preparing myself for, I actually felt relieved...like a weight flew off my shoulders and a huge smile came over my face. It was one of the worst things i've had to go through but that place stopped being my 'home' a long time ago, partly because of my actions and partly those of others... it's just taken me a couple of months to realize it.
Having said that, stuff should have gone down a lot better, there should have been more communication and we both shouldnt have been left feeling fucked over.... but I refuse to be bitter, there is no point. It happened. You move on and that is what I am doing.
I miss my friend but thats about it.

I get the keys to my beautiful new place at 3pm tomorrow. I can't wait. I drove past the house twice today.... the suspense is killing me!
I've drawn floor plans and have an exact idea of where everything is going to go.
Frankie is totally excited too, I can tell.

I can't wait to sit with Frank on my lap, in the aircon with a glass of wine, a cigarette (if a window is open a crack), put on a record and enjoy my own space.

2009 is going to rule.

Also, floor party at my new pad this weekend... It has no furniture in it yet but who cares! ITS MY NEW PLACE!!!!

RealEstate

I saw something on the internet today, it made me sad all over again.
It was only a house but it was really fucking important to us.
Now it's going to be taken over by complete strangers.
I hope they appreciate it.
That house changed a lot of things, good and bad.
They better fucking appreciate it.

Holy motherfuckin' shit nutz....

Toothache in T-bah.

So I just ruined a perfectly awesome family mini-break by having a fucking toothache.
I've never had a toothache. My braces make my teeth hurt. But this is bullshit.
I am in so much fucking pain.

Goodnight.

Rose.
xoxo

I never really have anything to say...

Everything is just going so wonderfully at the moment, I can't really think of anything to write about.
I don't really have anything to bitch and complain about, well, there is the insomnia, which is driving me fucking crazy right now. I've tried a bunch of herbal stuff and i've tried my hardest to wear myself out but nothing does it! I think i'm going to have to go to the doctors and get some sleeping tablets. I always try to stay away from sleeping tablets.... I don't know, the whole idea of them just doesnt sit right with me.
I just can't live at night and sleep through the day.... If I was still a 14 year old goth, this would be fantastic. But i'm not and sleeping through the day is bullshit!
I AM MISSING ALL THE SALES! Not to mention bro'n down time with my flatemate, cat, bestie, boyfriend and others.

Speaking of my flatemate, John is his name, we just bought Little Big Planet...well, actually, Ben bought Little Big Planet, it's just that John and I are the only ones who play it... and without exaggeration it is the best game I have ever played! You can make your own levels!!! It's a dream come true! Plus, it's narrated by Steven Fry!!! Tooooooooooooo cute!

At some point over the weekend, don't ask me which day, I can't remember i was asleep for most of it, but at some point, I was up and we went to JB... I bought The Mighty Boosh box set and the Arrested Development box set. Now, I have watched all three seasons of Arrested Development before and I swear it gets better the more times you watch it. Jason Bateman - be still my beating heart!! What a fuckin' babe! Seriously! Such a hottie. Micheal Cera - now I know everyone thinks he is such a cutie and such a great actor and blah blah blah.... but watching Arrested Development makes me want to punch him in his little awkward, nerdy face. I know it's his character but GAH! he's just soooooo painful. Fuck you George Michael Bluth and your creepy obsession with your cousin!

Also, in other news, I found the most amazing gift for a close friend yesterday. I won't say what it is incase she reads this. But it's one of those ones where you're like, "awwwww, maybe I should just keep it, she won't know!".
Totally awesome.

I gotta go, oppshoppin' time!

Rose.
xoxo

So I found out that I still had some money in my pay-pal account....

So I went and bought this little family!
SO CUTE!

I really should be saving my money... but how could I say no!??? I mean, really!!???
I am sooo fucking obsessed with wall hangings at the moment.
I've got my big plastic deer head, flying ducks, crying children and now theeeeese babies!

Luxworth st is going to look awesome.

I better go, my little pink baby cakes are a'burnin'...

Rose.
xoxo

ps. 10 days till I move in!!!!!!!!!!

Splashing in a pool of warm fuzzy contentment....

So in love it hurts.